We have all been home for months now. Only some of us have just started to step out. I remember that in my conversations in the first couple of months, calling this the initial phase. In labelling so, maybe there was a feeling that soon there would be the middle phase, and then there would be the last/final phase, and all would be well and normal again. Somehow, it doesn’t totally appear to be so. It is far stretched out than I understood it to be, and some of us hoped for.
Our human mind which over the last few decades has been exposed to rapid changes, rapid choices, rapid newness, rapid solutions, rapid movements in the material/external world, can be extremely challenged when faced with the possibility of a larger evolutionary change, which unfolds very slowly, sometimes making it feel like there is no movement at all. Not, the right here, right now, that can bring relief.
Then comes the question/s – If the thing that is constant in Nature is change, where is that change?
Why is all this taking forever? Haven’t we been stuck in this limbo for a while now? Where is the end to this, and have we reached it? I have been reflecting on these questions for some days now. Because like many of us, I too miss things that I had been used to – travelling to meet people when my heart wishes to, taking a holiday when there is a desire, hugging friends and loved ones without any worry, and so on. We are all familiar with our list of wants, and so I am sure you all hear what I mean.
Holding these questions in my heart, I have been listening – reading- watching-tuning into people, into nature who all have the capacity to see more, and also dipping into my own self, and here is what came up for me on the question `If the thing constant in Nature is change, where is that change?’:
Maybe the change or the changes that are currently ON is in our inner world, our inner selves. The outer world seems to have wished for a break, a pause, a holiday. Maybe that is because we have created enough in this outer world; progressed enough; have found sufficient tools and products and processes to take care of things when needed; and for hundreds of years the mind and body has engaged in a non-stop creation in the external. We are overflowing with choices and material abundance. We have tapped into our intellect and allowed for it to take shape, form, structure and more. We have participated in it, and as intelligent beings, been revelling in the external. In this outer world, we have been on a non-stop loop of action. This participation in the outer world is part of our calling too, and we have more than attended to it. Maybe that can wait, for now.
So, are we now being called upon, as an invitation by the Universe, to move into our inner world, our inner body, our within? To re-tune to our needs, our values, our purpose, our bodies, our minds, our families, our homes, our kitchens, our gardens, our people, to nourish-nurture-repair-cleanse-rejuvenate our insides. Remove that which is unnecessary, keep that is essential, acknowledge those who are core to our society, observe the life that surrounds us and makes Life possible, find space to tend to our souls. It feels this way to me and it also appears more to be this way, as I engage in conversations with friends and communities, near and far.
AND in this inner world, the pace, the momentum, and the idea of time and productivity works differently. Here there are no measurements, as the tangible is replaced by feelings, by changes at the cellular level. It therefore might seem like nothing is happening, nothing is moving, nothing is changing.
But let us ask ourselves, is this really true? Is there no change happening? Is there no movement? Are we really in a limbo? Does this all really feel unnecessary? In as much as I have heard from all who I know, the unanimous feeling can be paraphrased to this: We needed it
We are part of Nature. We are being guided by Nature into our needs as a species. And currently the invitation clearly is to move into an immeasurable world, the un-tangible, which is our inner world, and to give it the attention it needs.
To draw an analogy – it is like farmers tending to the soil and the earth between crops, between creations. When they are tending to the soil, it might appear like nothing is happening, nothing is growing, nothing is changing. But we all know what that churn is, what that kind of work is, how foundational and essential it is, to what unfolds after. We also know when the soil remains unattended for long, what the consequence is.
So, can we see this as a call, to tend to the soils of our souls individually and collectively as human beings. As we observe with attention, feel it and experience it, just like when the farmer takes a fist of soil and he knows by feeling it through his fingers, where his/her work has gone into, we too might be able to feel the subtle changes and shifts happening in our within. Many, many, of us are not who we were when the pandemic started.
This is not in any way to remove focus from the suffering, the failure of many of our systems to support the economically challenged and the injustice that comes through the othering. On the contrary, this is very much a significant part of the inner dimension work that seems essential, before we move to create in the external again. There is an inner dimension as an individual, and there is an inner dimension that we hold as humanity. Both need tending, and we have been witnessing many who are doing it, locally and globally.
I am slowly learning to accept this invitation, and to let my mind know that I am okay if I don’t know whether I am in the beginning, middle or at the end of this story. This is a transformative story, and such stories work on Universal time and pace. I shall not reduce it to measurement by months. I shall try to use a different language hereon. I might still miss the hugs, still miss the travels, but if I am part of an evolutionary change where being part of the whole is the responsibility, I am willing to surrender to it. It is often said that changes occur at the edges of our being. I feel grateful to be at the edge and to be given this opportunity. However uncomfortable it may seem, I wish to readjust my notion of time.
What are your thoughts? Do you also feel the need to shift measuring in the language we are often used to, and tune into the collective language of the inner dimension? Is this what we are being called upon to do? To become farmers?
Thank you so much for reading. If we are on soil time, we are deeply interconnected. I wish to hear what your heart is saying.